Good Idea, Bad Idea
by GilhamaedTheGoldenDragon
Summary: Naruto... probably wasn't going to be the best influence on his new genin team. But heck! Why not go with it. It's not like he could cause any real damage or anything. Right?
1. Chapter 76

**So, I'm going to be upfront here, this is totally AU. Akatsuki all died in their sleep, Naruto actually got promoted when he did things deserving of promotion, Sasuke was slightly less revenge driven, etc.**

Naruto Uzumaki was excited. And Konoha was concerned. Normally, these events would be totally disconnected from each other. Naruto was _always_ excited, it seemed to many. Excited for ramen, for explosions, pork ramen, getting turned down by Sakura, beef ramen, getting new minions to train, ramen. and most of those were normal. Well... except for the new minions one. That was the worrying one.

Now, you might think that taking a genin team would be small reason to worry. And typically, that would be the case. But when said ninja is banned from a minor country for "marking his territory" on the Daimyo's leg... Having him teach probably wasnt the best idea. But when you have blackmail on the Hokage, it's a bit less difficult, to say the least.


	2. Chapter Hello

Hallway outside of classroom 2-b

"Dobe! Stop bouncing. I can feel the floor shaking."

Sakura sighed at Sasuke's remark, drawing one of her totally-not-poisoned senbon in case she had to calm Naruto down.

"Hey! It's not that I'm bouncing, you're just... trembling in fear. Yeah! You're.."

Sakura struck, hitting Naruto in the neck, the drug quickly entering his bloodstream. The three jonnin relaxed slightly as Naruto's bouncing stilled.

Inside classroom 2-b

"... Team seven will be under Jonnin Naruto Uzumaki. That is all. If the jonnins will come in and collect their students, please."

The door opened as Ino, Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto walked in. Well, Ino, Sasuke and Sakura walked in. Naruto kind of... flopped in, as the opened door removed most of his support.

Iruka sighed as the other jonnin collected their students.

"Team seven. Please drag your Sensei onto the roof. He should be capable of walking in about five minutes."

Naruto's three students stood and moved to commence the trek to the roof, mutters of discontent and looks of disgust barely concealed.

On the roof

"My dad told me that there's another test. Maybe we'll fail. Then we won't have a clown like this as a teacher."

"We should just fail on purpose. Stupid Iruka, giving us some drunk bum as our Sensei."

"Hush, you two! He's waking up!"

And it was true. Naruto stirred and groaned, before flipping from his back onto his feet.

" Aha! Minions! Front and center! It's time for the dreaded... Introductions!"

The three genin lined up in front of their Sensei, before awkwardly looking at each other, hoping that someone else would go first. Unfortunately, they took too long

"You! Big dude. You're up first. Likes, dislikes, favorite food, favorite explosion, but no name."

With a slight look of trepidation at the odd request, 'Big Dude' began.

"I like food, bowling, the color blue. I dislike people who steal my food. My favorite food is pizza. I don't really like explosions all that much."

"Bah! You're no fun. Whatever. It's Sleepy's turn. Same questions."

"Well... I enjoy cloud watching. And sleeping. Having a favorite food is troublesome. I'd rather demonstrate principles of combustion on vegetables. I dislike burn laws. My favorite explosion is the classic 'strap a bunch of explosive notes on a flock of pigeons and watch feathers rain'. "

"Ha! You know what's better? Putting explosive notes in the ANBU tower and watching it rain masks. Anyways... Girly. It's your turn."

"I like dieting and trying to look good for someone. I dislike people who try to steal my one true love. My favorite food is low sodium carrots. I don't think that explosions are very feminine, so I don't like them."

"Alright! Now that I know you guys, it's time to start your new life as ninja. Big dude, you will now be known as Thing one. Sleepy, you're Thing two. And Girly, you get the honor of being Thing three."

An evil grim crept it's way across Naruto's face as he thought of how he was going to train his little padawans.


End file.
